Love and Pain
by Gurlynicole
Summary: Why did love have to be so madding? It was a simple question with no answer.///Story better then summary. warning sex
1. Chapter 1

Love and Pain

O.P.O.V

Why did love have to be so madding?

It was a simple question with no answer.

_**You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind**_

_**Instead of slamin down the phone, bab, for the hundredth time**_

_**Got your number on my mind, but im not gonna make that call**_

_**When divided we stand, united we fall**_

Those lyrics were stuck in my head. We were still fighting. The lyrics were exactly what was happening. He would call his ex-wife and she would never answer. He wanted to talk to his kids. I would try to convince him to stop calling her and let her calm down, but he wouldn't change his mind. It was driving us apart day after day. I sit here night after night and dread going home where he will be waiting. We will fight over her like we always do. I'm not sure I can take it anymore. I should call him and tell him I'm on my way home, but I'm not going to. Not tonight, I can't. We fight too much and it is slowly and painfully driving us apart. I'm not going home tonight; I'll sleep in the cribs upstairs if I have to, but I can't fight with him again tonight. He'd probably call, and I'll either let it ring or lie to him. I know he'll be worried, but I'm still not going home. I hope he doesn't come back tonight. If he dose we will fight again. If we don't stop fighting soon, I'm going to leave him. It will hurt but I have to do it. He hurts me too much, and I can't do this much longer. If he doesn't stop he will lose me.

_Ring, Ring, Ring._

I see his name on the caller I.D. and I don't answer. My co-workers keep looking at me with worried eyes. They know about Elliot and me. They know about our problems too. John stands up and walks toward me.

"Olivia, are you all right?" he asks softly. He is worried about me, and so is Fin. They can see what this is doing to me.

"No" I whisper and close my eyes. I'm not all right; I'm not anything. I'm numb enough to lie to my co-workers and friends, but not enough to not hurt over Elliot.

_Ring, Ring, Ring_

"Benson" I answer without looking at the caller I.D.

"Liv," I hear his worried tone and I open my eyes.

"Hi, Elliot" I say, barley keeping my voice from shacking.

"Are you coming home soon?" he asks.

"N....Yes" I say, too afraid to hurt to him. There is a silence. I don't break it.

"I miss you, come home soon, please" he says sweetly and I have to smile. This is the side of him I love the most. When he talks to me like this, we don't fight. I'm off the hook . . . for now. I can go home tonight and hope his mood doesn't change.

"I miss you too. I will I promise." I say and stand up. John smiles at me and sits back down. He knows he can stop worrying about me . . . for now. I grab my things.

"I love you, baby" he says and I smile more. I walk to the elevator.

"I love you too. I'm on my home now. I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't do anything until I get there." I say as the doors close.

"Hurry home" he says softly.

"I will. I'm be there before you can miss me" I say and smile again. It was so easy being with him when he was like this.

"Too late for that, I've missed you since I left forty-five minutes ago." He says and I frown. He left earlier then usual because we were fighting again.

"Sorry about earlier, I missed you too" I say and fail to keep the pain from my voice.

"Baby, I'm sorry. It was my fault not yours. I shouldn't have mentioned her." He said his voice filled with pain that mirrored my own. He called Kathy again and she still didn't answer. He complained about it to me and I asked him to please stop calling her while I was there. He asked me why and I told him it was because I knew would it hurt him if I called any of my ex-boyfriends or my ex-fiancé. I told him it hurt me when he called her around me and he yelled at me. He asked me why it hurt me when he tried to call her so he could talk to his kids. I told him it hurt because he spent more time calling her than he did being with me and that hurt worse than anything else. I left after than. Unimaginable agony took over his expression and I could not look at what I had done to him. He left without a glace in my direction.

"It...It's okay" I say as the elevator doors open.

"No. No it's not okay. I had no idea how much it hurt you. If I did, I would have never called her at all. The last thing in the world I want is you hurting. Your pain kills me. I never wanted you to be hurting, never. When you said that I spent more time calling her then being with you and that was what hurt you the most, my heart broke. That killed me. And the worst part was that I knew it was true. It was the reason you came home late at night or not at all. I'm so sorry. More sorry than you can ever imagine. I love you too much to let this rip us apart. I wouldn't be able to take that." He said his voice shaking with pain. I made it to the car.

"I forgive you. I love you too much to let you go because of this." I say as I start the car.

"I don't deserve someone as beautiful, loving, smart, and forgiving as you. I also don't deserve your love or your forgiveness." He says and I smile. It was me who didn't deserve him not the other way around.

"I'll be there soon, so you can sweet talk me when I get there." I say as I turn onto our street.

"Bye honey" he says.

"Bye baby" I say before I hung up. Two minutes later I was at our house. I turned off the car and got out. I saw him coming off the porch toward me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me hungrily. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. He pressed me against the car and I chuckled when his lips finally released mine after a few minutes. He had not kissed me like that since we started fighting.

"Hi" he whispered and kissed my neck.

"Hi" I whispered and he pulled away slightly. I pulled him back.

"Come back here, I wasn't finished kissing you yet." I said and kissed him again. He chuckled and pulled away again, but kept his arm around me.

" I have a surprise for you" he whispered in my ear and I felt his breathe against my skin. He led me to the house and covered my eyes with his hands when we got to the front door. I reached eagerly for the handle and opened the door quickly. The first thing I heard was some kind of soft music playing quietly and then I smelled roses.

"Roses?" I asked. Elliot was not the most romantic man. He never got flowers for me, why would tonight be any different?

"Yes." He whispered and slowly removed his hands from my eyes. I gasped in shock. The room was covered in roses and rose petals. There were candles lit all over the place. The living room had turned into a romantic picture from a fairytale. It was the sweetest, and most beautiful thing anyone had ever done for me.

"Oh Elliot! It's so beautiful! I love it!" I said and turned around to kiss him.

"You really like it?" he asked when we pulled away. I smiled and nodded.

"Of course I do, El! It is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you!" I said and he led me inside. We laid down on the blankets he set out. I put my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. We laid in silence and just enjoyed being together happily. There was a question I needed to ask him, but I didn't want to ruin this beautiful moment.

"Go ahead and ask." He whispered against my hair. He could read me like a book.

"What brought this on Elliot?" I asked and looked up at him. He was smiling down at me.

"What?" I asked before he answered my first question.

"You look even better in candle light. I didn't think that was possible, but look at you. You're gorgeous." He said and I blushed. I still was not use to him complementing me.

"You didn't answer my first question." I said still blushing. He looked nervous.

"I...I wanted to ask you something." He said still looking nervous. I sat up and he unwrapped his arms from me.

"What is it, Elliot?" I said and for some reason felt nervous too. I realized why when he stood up then got down one knee in front of me and pulled out a ring. My eyes filled with tears and my hand covered my mouth. He took a deep breath.

"Liv, I love you. I always have. I love more than anything in the world." He said and took another deep breath.

"Olivia Benson, will you marry me?" he asked shakily. I couldn't speak yet. He wanted to marry me! I was so happy! Tears rolled down my face.

"Liv, I'm dying here!" he said and I moved my hand away from my face to put it on his cheek.

"Of course I'll marry you!" I said and he relaxed. He smiled and took my hand. He slid the ring onto my left hand, where it would stay for as long as I lived. He brought my hand to lips and kissed it softly before letting it go.

"It's so beautiful, Elliot!" I said as he laid down again. I laid back down as well and put my head back on his chest. And like before he wrapped his arms around me. I hoped he never let go.

"It was the ring my father gave to my mother. He gave it to me when she died. He told me to give it to the woman I loved more than life itself. So, I gave it to you and not Kathy. Kathy wasn't the one. You are. You are the one I love, the only one I want. You are everything I want and everything I need. Never again will I hurt you. I'm never going to let you go." He said and another round of tears fell from my eyes. God, I love this man! This stupid, beautiful, angry, loving, hurtful, wonderful man. He was everything to me. So sweet and so tough.

"I....I love you so much. This is the best moment of my life and I will never forget it. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm never letting you go either. Never." I said and kissed his chest. I ran my hand up and down his chest. I felt him shiver in pleasure. We had not made love since we started fighting.

"You are the most important thing to me now and forever. I love you too. I'll give you everything I can. I am yours." He whispered and kissed my hair.

"And I am yours. You can have everything I have. You already own my heart, and that will never change." I whispered back.

"And you own my heart and it will never change, no matter how much we fight." He said and I looked up at him. I leaned up until my lips and his were only a centimeter apart.

"You can have me and every part of my body. All you have to do is say so." I said and parted my lips. My tongue traced his lower lip. He shivered in pleasure again. He pulled my body closer.

"I want you. All of you. Now." He whispered and capered my lips with his. His tongue danced with mine as we kissed.

"My body, my heart, you can have them all. I don't care. I want you. You and you only." I whispered as we broke apart for air. \

"You can have me. All of me. My heart, my body, anything." He whispered and I shivered in pleasure. He is mine. Mine and mine only. No one was going to take him from me.

"I want you baby, right now! Please, now. Don't make me wait anymore. I want you now." I said as he kissed me neck. He rolled us over so he was on top. I wrapped my arms around him and moaned as his lips found the sensitive flesh on my neck.

"I want you too, but I haven't felt your beautiful body under me in a long time. I need to get familiar with it again. I need to remember how to touch you in the exact right way. I want you too, but I'm going to take my time." He whispered and trailed kisses down my neck.

"Elliot" I moaned and began unbuttoning his shirt. His hands caressed my back.

"You are mine" he said possessively and I finished unbuttoning his shirt.

"I'm yours. I'm yours." I moaned as his hands rubbed my breasts, his tongue caressing the sensitive flesh on my neck. He liked that, the sound of my pleasure. He moaned against my neck. That sound sent a shiver of pleasure through me. I ran my hands up and down his chest. He leaned away slightly and pulled his hands away from my breasts. He pulled off his shirt as I unbuttoned mine. He pulled me up to him and kissed me. I pulled my shirt off and he pressed me back against the floor. My hands fumbled with the button on his pants. His hands returned to rubbing my breasts. He pulled me back up and unclasped my bra. I slipped the straps off and let the bra fall to the floor. He pressed me back against the ground. He pulled his lips away from mine and trailed kisses down to my chest. He took one breast in his mouth and rubbed the other. He licked and sucked on my nipple until he was satisfied with that one. He switched breasts and licked and sucked that one as well. I was moaning the entire time. His lips against my body drove me crazy with pleasure. He finally kissed his way back up to my lips. I unzipped his jeans and he unbuttoned mine. I slid his jeans off slowly and then he rolled us over again. He pulled my jeans off and rolled us back over. He trailed kisses down my chest until he reached the black thong I wore. I pulled my hips of the floor and he pulled them down my legs. He lifted one leg in the air and kissed it as he slipped the thong off and did the same with the other. He spread my legs apart and kissed up my legs. He looked up at me once before he slid his tongue inside me. Pleasure ripped through me. He licked and kissed me until I reached my climax.

"Elliot!" I yelled as I came into his mouth. He licked his lips and kissed his way back up to my neck. I could fell his erection against me. I rolled us over and kissed his chest. I kissed down his chest until I reached his underwear. I slid them down slowly. He pleasured me with his mouth and I would do the same, happily. I stroked his erection before I kissed the tip. I took it my mouth and sucked it slowly until I felt his hands in my hair, pushing it deeper in my mouth. I quickened my pace and I let him come in my mouth while he yelled:

"Olivia!" I licked the tip clean and swallowed. He pulled me back to him and kissed me. I could taste our juices.

"Now baby! Don't make me wait anymore. Please baby, now!" I said while he kissed my neck. He rolled us over, slipped his arms around my legs and lifted them in the air. I wrapped them around his waist. He positioned himself between my legs and slid inside me. I moaned as he began to move inside me slowly. The pleasure that flowed through me was unimaginable. He moved slowly and gently in me first, then, as our passion grew, he went faster and harder until I was practically screaming his name. My nails dug into the skin if his back, probably making scars. His lips didn't leave my body as we made love. They were on mine, to quiet my screams of pleasure, or my neck. His arms held me as close as possible and I wished he would pull me closer. I had never experienced this much pleasure in my life. We had never loved each other like this. Tonight was the most passionate night we had ever had. We left our problems and all the pain in the past. Now we would love each other and do nothing else. The pleasure grew and grew. I felt so much pleasure and I knew would I come soon. He must have felt the same because he pushed harder, deeper, and faster into me. His lips captured mine as both our climaxes came. Our screams of pleasure were muffled by our lips. He fell over on me for a second before he rolled over onto the floor. He pulled me back into his arms and kissed my hair.

"That was amazing, baby" He whispered and I smiled.

"I know." I said and looked up at him. I leaned up and kissed him gently and sweetly.

"I love you, more than words can describe." I said and kissed him again. He smiled down at me when we pulled away.

"I love you too, more than you will ever know." He said and I smiled. He pulled me closer and I laid my head on his chest. A few minutes later I yawned and nestled closer to him.

"Tired, honey?" He asked and I nodded, too sleepy to actually say something. His arms unwrapped from around and I was about to complain when I felt a blanket settle over me, then two strong arms re wrap around me. I smiled and snuggled closer to him.

"Thanks, baby" I mumbled and closed my eyes. He kissed my hair and I was momentarily overwhelmed with desire. It quickly faded, my body wasn't awake enough to move, let alone make love again.

"Goodnight. Sleep well, my love" he whispered and I smiled again. I fell asleep quickly against the man I loved with all me heart and soul. He was finally mine and I was finally his, forever. I hope.


	2. Chapter 2

E.P.O.V

Her beautiful body was pressed against me when she fell asleep. I couldn't help the overwhelming joy that flowed through me. She was mine and mine only. No one way going to take her away from me. Not if god himself tried. She is going to be my wife. I love her more then anything. I won't hurt her anymore. Never, if my life depended on it, then I'd die happily to keep her from hurting. It would mean cutting off communication with Kathy, but I don't care. Maybe Olivia was right and she needs to calm down. I hope she lets me see my kids. I miss them so much. Kathleen and Maureen are already in college. Elizabeth and Dickie were in high school. All my babies were growing up. Maybe Olivia will give me another baby. I smiled at the thought. Olivia pregnant, like she's always wanted, with my baby. Olivia rocking a brown-eyed baby in her arms. Olivia and I having our own family. She's always wanted a family of her own. The squad was like a family to her, but never the one she wanted. I remember her telling me that once.

"Elliot" I hear her whisper. I look down at her, she didn't seem to be awake.

"Yes, baby?" I ask and she mumbled something else. I smiled, she was sleep-talking again. Lately when she did, she would always say 'don't go', 'I'm sorry', or 'goodbye'. Last night she had whispered 'goodbye' again in her sleep. The pain in that whisper had made tears fall from my eyes. She was hurting and I knew it, but I didn't know why. Not until this afternoon. She had told me why she was hurting and I couldn't help the pain that showed all over my face. She left and I just stood there for a few minutes. Measuring how much I love Olivia and how much it would hurt me to lose her to the pain it would cause me if I didn't see my kids again. My love for Olivia won. I could sue Kathy, if I had to, for partial custody of the kids. I would lose Olivia if I didn't stop wasting time I could spend with her calling Kathy. I would do everything in my power not to hurt again. From now on, no matter what, she would come first. I came close to losing her and that wouldn't happen again.

"Elliot" Olivia said louder and I looked down to realize she had woken-up. I smile down at her and pull her closer.

"Hey baby, what are you doing up?" I asked as she smiled up at me. She shook her head.

"Nope. Me first. Honey, why are you **still** up? I was thinking, if you aren't tired that is, we could go another round. What do you say?" she asked. I laughed and smiled down at her.

"As good as that sounds baby, we can't. We have to go to work in a few hours. Plus, you already wore me out and gave me scars ." I said and smiled again when she tried to hide her blushing by turning her head away. I pull my arms away from her waist and she turns her head to look at me. I smile at her and take her face in my hands. I lean down slowly and kiss her gently and with as much love as I can. When we pull away she smiles up at me then lays her head down on my chest. I run my hand thought her long, brown, beautiful hair.

"El, go to sleep. We have to go to work tommorrow and........" she trailed off and looked up at me.

"We have to what, honey?" I asked and she took a deep breath.

"Can we tell them, Elliot? Can we tell them about us now?" She asks and looks into my eyes. I smile down at her.

"If you want to, baby, we will. We'll tell them everything if that's what you want." I say and she smiles brightly.

"You mean it? We can tell everyone, including the kids?" she asks and I nod. She leans up and kisses me.

"Anything for you baby." I say when she pulls away.

"I love you Elliot." She says and I smile down at her.

"I love you too, Olivia" I say and she smiles again. I yawn and she puts her head on my chest.

"Lets go to sleep. I'm tired." She says and I kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight Liv." I say and she snuggles closer.

"Goodnight El." She says and closes her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

O.P.O.V

The next morning, I awoke in Elliot's arms. First I wondered how bad Elliot and I had fought last night. Did he make me cry again, and then apologize over and over again until I had cried myself to sleep, somehow always in his arms, or did we not even talk to each other until we went to sleep? Then the memories of last night flooded my brain. I looked down and saw my engagement ring shining slightly in the morning light. I smile and look up at my sleeping fiance's face. I look up at the clock on the wall. It reads 5:05. We have to leave in about a half hour. I looked back at Elliot and leaned up so I could press my lips against his for a few seconds. When I pulled away he opened his eyes and pulled me back, then pressed his lips back against mine again.

"Morning, baby." I said when he finally pulled away. He smiled down at me and whipped a piece of hair out of my eyes.

"Morning, beautiful." He said and I smiled. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"How did you sleep, honey?" I asked and he smiled.

"Wonderful, I dreamed of you all night." He said and I smiled.

"I dreamed of you, too. Very, very nice dreams." I said and winked.

"Mmmm...now what did we do in those dreams of yours?" He asked and I sat up.

"I can show you better than I can tell you." I said seductively and climbed onto his lap. He grabbed my hips and I leaned down to kiss him. He moaned as my lip pressed against his, which surprised me, and his tongue begged for entrance into my mouth. I gladly granted him entrance and I wondered why he wanted me so badly this morning. He was usually like this after we got home. I felt his erection against my bare leg. He lifted my hips up off his lap and positioned me over him. He pulled me down onto his member and I moaned against his lips. We had not done these kinds of things since we first started dating. I pulled away from his lips, put my head back and moaned again. I began to move up and down and he moved his hands up to my bare breasts. He rubbed them tenderly and then leaned up to kiss me. When he pulled away we were both breaking hard.

"Oh my god...that feels so good.....mmm...so good....I love you, baby." I moaned as he started kissing my breasts as I rode him.

"Oh god...I'm close Liv...I love you, too." He said and I put my hands on his chest so I wouldn't fall off him.

"Me too, baby...god...me too." I said and rode him faster than before. We both began panting and moaning more and more.

"Oh god...I'm gonna come baby." I moaned.

"Go ahead honey...I'm right behind you." He moaned. I put my head back and went faster. Suddenly I was filled with warmth and my inner walls clenched around him. I felt him come inside me and I fell over on top of him, with him still inside me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.

"Is that what you dreamed about?" He asked and I nodded.

"Mmmmm" was all I said, however. He laughed and I smiled.

"God, we haven't done that in a long time." I said.

"Why did we ever stop doing that?" He asked and I laughed.

"Hmmm..I can't remember. We should do this more often." I said and looked at the clock. It was already 6:00.

"Shit, baby. We have to go. We are already late. Cap is gonna flip out." I said and tried to stand up. Elliot didn't let me move.

"We don't have to work today. I called Cregain last night, and told him what I was planing to do. He told me that we were not allowed to go in for work a week." He said and I smiled.

"So Don already knows were engaged?" I asked.

"I said if he didn't hear from us today then you said yes." He said and I smiled.

"I guess you'll have to keep me very, very busy or I'll end up calling everyone and telling them. So what do you want to do today?" I asked as I sat up and stretched.

"Well besides you, I wanted to go out tonight." He said and I giggled. I got off of him and lied down next to him. I put my head on his chest and he ran his hand through my hair.

"Well Mr. Stabler, you're being a very naughty boy today." I said and smiled.

"Well Soon-to-be Ms. Stabler, I'm always a naughty boy when I'm near you. It's too hard to control myself around you." He said and I giggled again.

"I like the sound of that. Ms. Olivia Marie Stabler. It has a ring to it. I bet it will sound even better when your finally my wife." He said and I smiled up at him. I liked the sound of that too. Olivia Stabler. Elliot Stabler's wife Olivia Stabler.

"Me too, and I want to go out tonight too." I said and leaned up to kiss him. He pulled me back on top of him so he could kiss me more throughly. I pulled away and put my head back on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.

"Can we invite everyone to come out tonight?" I asked.

"Sure, baby. Do you want to tell the tonight?" He asked and I nodded.

"Alright we'll call them in a few hours." He said. I looked up and him and grinned.

"Hmmm...what should we do until then?" I asked and sat up.

"Oh I can think of a few things." He said and leaned up to kiss me. I giggled when he pulled away and started to kiss my neck.

"Well, someones eager this morning." I said as I felt his erection press against my leg again.

"What can I say. I've got the most gorgeous woman in the world naked on my lap, and I want her right now." He said and I smiled.

"Then take me, again." I said and smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

After making love 3 more times, twice on the livingroom floor and once in the shower, I started breakfast. Elliot was reading the paper and humming to himself. I made his favorite: eggs, bacon, and toast.

"It's ready, and this time remamber to chew, honey." I said and smiled at the memory of Dickie and Elliot having an eating contest at the table, then, because they bearly chewed any of it, they both turned pink and started coufing up cunks of omlets. Kathleen, Mourenne, Elizabeth, and I were laughing about it for days. When Kat, and Mour told Kathy, even she laughed. He smiled up at me before digging in. I sipped my coffie and watched in amusement as my future husband ate like a three year old. He made more of mess then all his kids. I knew he did it on purpose so I laughed and smacked his shoulder gentily. He looked up at me innocently.

"Don't give me that look! Eat right or no more sex for a week." I said and watched as all amusement fell from his face. He began to eat normally and I giggled. If I said anything about no sex he'd do anything I asked without a complaint. It was completely hilarious. Once he was finished, I picked up his plate and rinsed it off. He wrapped his arms around me.

"It's not nice to tease, Liv." He whispered in my ear, taking my earlobe in his mouth. My breath hitched and I gripped the plate tighter. He leaned down and kissed my neck. The plate slipped from my hand and fell into the sink with a _clink_.

"Wha..What do..do you me..mean?" I asked breathlessly as he sucked on the sensitive skin on my neck. I felt him smile against my neck.

"You're teaseing me just standing there. It's not nice. You are too beautiful to be fully chlothed. It should be a crime for you to be dressed." He said and kissed my neck again. I tilted my head over to give his better access and moaned softly. Damn Him! He knew it always makes me want him more, when he comes onto me for no reason.

"I..I'm not..teasing." I said and take a shaky breath. He unwrapped his arms from around me and turned me around to face him. The desire in his eyes made my knees weak. He leaned in and kissed me. He walked backwards until I was pressed against the fridge. He has me right where he wants me, and I know he likes the control. He pulls away and kisses my neck again. The phone rings and I take the chance to pull away from him. The man was going to be the death of me! I walked to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello." I answered.

_"Hi Olivia." _Kathy said and my breath stopped.

"Kathy? Is that you?" I asked and looked at Elliot.

_"Ya, it's me. I wanted to know if I could come over with the kids in a few minutes. I wanted to talk to you and Elliot, too. If thats ok?"_ She asked.

"Um..hold on I'll ask Elliot." I said.

_"Thanks Olivia."_ She said and I put down the phone. I looked up at Elliot's shocked expression.

"Kathy wants to know if her and the kids can come over. She wants to talk to us." I said and looked down. Was Kathy up to something?

"What do you think, honey?" He asked, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around me. I looked up.

"I want to see the kids and I guess we need to talk to Kathy, but It's up to you, baby." I said and he looked down at me.

"Well, if its okay with you, let her come over. We can settle the issue of the custody of the kids today and we can tell the kids our news like you wanted." He said and I have to smile. He is always trying to make me happy, and trying to give me what I want. He smiles at the sight of my smile. I pick the phone.

"Hey Kathy, you still there?" I asked and Elliot goes back to kissing my neck, causing my breath to hitch, again.

_"Ya. What did he say?" _She asked. I pull the phone away and moan softly again.

"El, cut it out! I need to be able to talk and it's a little hard with you doing that." I say and put the phone back to my ear.

"He said that would be great." I said and glared at Elliot as he continued to kiss my neck. He glanced back up and smiled.

_"Ok. We will be there in a few minutes."_ She said and I bit my lip, trying to hold back another moan.

"See you soon" I say, bearly keeping my voice from shaking.

_"Oh and Olivia. Thank you, you could have hung up the phone as soon as you heard my voice. I'm sorry about how I've been acting lately, it was very wrong of me to try and keep you and Elliot away from the kids."_ She said and I smiled.

"It's okay Kathy. You were upset. We forgive you." I said.

_"Bye, Olivia." _Kathy said.

"Bye Kathy." I said and hung up the phone. My hands wrapped around his neck and he pulled me closer.

"Love you, baby" I said and he pulled away to look me in the eyes.

"I love you, too, Liv. You are my whole world. You, the jod, and the kids are all I have in this world. I won't lose you. If everything in the world was gone and you and I were the only people left, I wouldn't care. If you were gone and everything else remained, I'd die. I won't, can't, lose you. I need you to know that, no matter what happens with Kathy and the kids, I will always be yours." He said and a single tear slipped down my face. His hand rose and whipped it away.

"You won't ever lose me. As long as I know you love me, I'm yours. I need you to know that no matter happens, I will always love you. Always." I said and leaned in to kiss him softly. I pulled away and smiled. He smiled back and we heard a knock on the door.

"Come on in guys!" I called as we walked into the livingroom.


	5. chapter 5

"Daddy! Olivia!" We hear before we are basically tackled to the ground by the kids. Elliot and I laugh as the kids try and hug us even though we are on the floor.

"Okay guys, get up! Let your father and Olivia, breathe." Kathy said and chuckled. I smiled at her and mouthed 'Thank you' to her. She smiled and nodded. There was something off about her about her, but I'm not sure what it is. The kids and Elliot quickly stood up, but I was stayed on the floor and laughed. Elliot smiled down at me and put out his hand. I took it and he pulled me up. I looked at each of the kids and smiled. I had missed them all so much.

"I missed you guys." I said and they smiled.

"Olivia and I have some big news we want to tell you." He said and I looked up at him.

"Now?" I whispered. He nodded and smiled. I smiled back and looked back at the kids.

"Your father and I are getting married." I said and they all screamed.

"No way! Lemmie see, I wanna see the ring!" Kathleen yelled and ran over to me. I lifted up my hand and showed her the ring. She grabbed my hand and examined the ring carefully as all the kids, even Kathy, came over to see it.

"Oh my god! Liv it is beautiful! Congrats." Kathleen said and hugged me. I pulled away and smiled.

"Wait, isn't that grandma's old ring?" Moureen asked as she looked at the ring.

"Yes it is. Now it's Olivia's and I'm sure grandma would love the beautiful woman wearing it, if she was alive today." Elliot said lovingly and I looked up and smiled.

"I'm happy for you two. The ring is very beautiful Olivia." Kathy said and smiled at me. I nodded and smiled back.

"Does this mean you are going to be our new step-mom?" Dickie asked and I looked down at him.

"Sweetheart. It means whatever you want. Your dad and I are getting married and nothing else has to change if you don't want it too, I promise." I said. He smiled and hugged me.

"Do we have to call you mom?" Elizabeth asked and I looked over at her.

"You can call me whatever you want to. Liv, Olivia, Livvie, mom anything." I said and she smiled.

"OK, I'll call you mom and mom, mommy." She said and smiled.

"Love you, Lizzy." I said and smiled.

"Love you too, mom." She said and I laughed.

"Hey! The rest of us love you too!" Dickie said and I looked at him.

"I love you guys, all of you. Now all of you go and play in your rooms, while your dad and I talk to your mom." I said and they groaned.

"Now." Kathy said and they reluctantly went upstairs to their room.

"Okay what did you want to talk to us about?" Elliot asked and Kathy took a deep breath.

"I need you to take the kids for a while. There is something I really need to do and I won't be there to take care of them." She said.

What? What in the world is she talking about?

"What do you need to do so bad?" Elliot asked and Kathy looked down as a tear fell down her face.

"I..I'm going to-to rehab." She said and I stumbled back. Elliot caught me before I fell down. Rehab? For what?

"For what?" I asked, amazed by the calmness in my voice. She dug in her purse and pulled out a small bag filled with white powder. Cocaine.

"Kathy, no. Why would you do that stuff?" Elliot asked as I stared at the bag.

"I don't know. One of my boyfriends got me to try some and I've been hooked ever since. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm high all the time and I don't want to raise the kids that way. Please, I need rehab. Please take them for a while." She said and I walked toward her. I raised my hand and slapped her once, then took the bag from her.

"That was for doing it in the first place. How could you do that when you knew what it would do to you? How did you expect to raise Elizabeth and Dickie when you were like that?" I said and raised my hand to slap her again. Elliot grabbed me and pulled me back.

"Liv no." He said and I pulled away from him. I was so angry, I was seeing red. How could she do that? What if she hurt one of kids while she was high?

"Why not? She deserves it! You are a horrible excuse for a mother. What kind of mother would do drugs in the first place? What if you hurt or your boyfriend hurt one of the kids while you were like that?" I asked and she looked up at me with tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry. I desirved that. I don't know what I was doing." She said.

"I know what you were doing, you selfish bitch. You were trying to make yourself feel better. Forget the kids right? Let them fend for themselves. I'll just go get high, they can handle themselves!" I yelled.

"I know I know. I'm selfish. Just please. Let me get better. I want to be able to take care of my children." She said and I tried to calm down.

"Okay we'll take them, and your not getting anywhere near them untill your 100% clean." I said and looked up Elliot. He nodded and took a deep breath.

"Kids! Come down here we need to talk!" He yelled and I glared at Kathy.


	6. Chapter 6

"Kids! Come down here we need to talk!" He yelled and I glared at Kathy.

They came down the stairs slowly. When they got into the living room, they glanced between their crying mother, me and Elliot.

"Mommy, whats wrong?" Elizabeth asked as she stepped forward. Kathy looked over at her and whipped away her tears.

"Go ahead Kathy, you tell them why you can't take care of them anymore." I said angrily.

"Liv, honey. I know your upset, but please calm down, okay. Don't do this in front of the kids." Elliot said and I looked up at him. I could see he was just as angry as I was, but I also knew we needed to stay cool in front of the kids. I nodded and looked back at the kids.

"Guys, sit down I need to tell you something." Kathy said and sat down in the armchair by the fireplace. Maurene, Kathleen, and Elizabeth sat on the couch. Dickie, Elliot and I stood and glared at Kathy. Did Dickie already know what was going on?

"I'm going away for a while and you guys will be staying with Olivia and your father." Kathy said, and all the kids, expect Dickie, stared in shock at their mother. Elizabeth was the first to speak.

"Why mommy?" Elizabeth said and Kathy looked down.

"You know how I haven't been around much lately?" She asked and Dickie nodded fiercely.

"You were off with your boyfreind doing drugs and partying." Dickie said and We all started in shock at him.


	7. sorry

**__****_I have decided to discontinue all my stories except for the locket. I will finish them one at a time, the locket first, then for someone i love, then love and pain, so close, and last face down. I can't handle writing 5 stories at once. If anyone would like 2 help with the writing of any of theses troys, your help would be greatly appreciated._**

**_--so sorry, _**

**_gurlynicole_**


	8. AN

**I'm sooo sorry i haven't updated in along time, but i promise i will once my computer is fixed. Things have been crazy with school, and them my computer crashed, so i'll update as soon as i can, Sorry!**


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